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1,615 Entries
Donna Email
08/04

Last Day You Placed A Bet 7/14/15

Location Florida

Comments:
8/4/20  Tuesday   Hi my name is Donna and I am a Compulsive Gambler in Recovery, checking in.  Yesterday our phones were down at the office, so they gave us a day off, which was unexpected.  So more rest for me.  Just for today I will remain Gamble Free, ODAAT.


Hazelden Thought for the Day 
08/03

Comments:
August 3rd Hazelden Thought for the Day 

No one likes a martyr.

How do we feel around martyrs? Guilty, angry, trapped, negative, and anxious to get away.
Somehow, many of us have developed the belief that depriving ourselves, not taking care of ourselves, being a victim, and suffering needlessly will get us what we want.

It is our job to notice our abilities, our strengths, and take care of ourselves by developing and acting on them.

It is our job to notice our pain and weariness and appropriately take care of ourselves.

It is our job to notice our deprivation, too, and begin to take steps to give ourselves abundance. It begins inside of us, by changing what we believe we deserve, by giving up our deprivation and treating ourselves the way we deserve to be treated.

Life is hard, but we don't have to make it more difficult by neglecting ourselves. There is no glory in suffering, only suffering. Our pain will not stop when a rescuer comes, but when we take responsibility for ourselves and stop our own pain.

Today, I will be my own rescuer. I will stop waiting for someone else to work through my issues and solve my problems for me.
You are reading from the book:
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Reflection for the Day  
08/03

Comments:

August 3 Reflection for the Day

The Twelve Steps were designed specifically for people like us - as a short cut to God. The Steps are very much like strong medicine that can heal us of the sickness of despair, frustration, and self-pity. Yet we're sometimes unwilling to use the Steps. Why? Perhaps because we have a deep-down desire for martyrdom. Consciously and intellectually, we think we want help on a gut level, though, some hidden sense of guilt makes us crave punishment more than relief from our ills.

 

Can I try to be cheerful when everything seems to be leading me to despair? Do I realize that despair is very often a mask for self-pity?

 

Today I Pray

May I pull out the secret guilt inside that makes me want to punish myself. May I probe my despair and discover whether it is really an imposter - self-pity with a mask on. Now that I know that the Twelve Steps can bring relief, may I please use them instead of wallowing in my discomforts.

 

Today I Will Remember

The Twelve Steps are God's stairway.


Donnna Email
08/03

Last Day You Placed A Bet 7/14/15

Location Florida

Comments:
8/3/20  Monday   Hi my name is Donna and I am a Compulsive Gambler in Recovery, it was a quiet weekend, as we had to wait to see if the Hurricane was going to hit our area.  Thank God, we did not take a direct hit.  Just for today I will remain Gamble Free, ODAAT.


Hazelden Thought for the Day 
08/02

Comments:

August 2nd Hazelden Thought for the Day 

In Between


Sometimes, to get from where we are to where we are going, we have to be willing to be in between.

One of the hardest parts of recovery is the concept of letting go of what is old and familiar, but what we don't want, and being willing to stand with our hands empty while we wait for God to fill them.

This may apply to feelings. We may have been full of hurt and anger. In some ways, these feelings may have become comfortably familiar. When we finally face and relinquish our grief, we may feel empty for a time. We are in between pain and the joy of serenity and acceptance.

Being in between can apply to relationships. To prepare ourselves for the new, we need to first let go of the old. This can be frightening. We may feel empty and lost for a time. We may feel all alone, wondering what is wrong with us for letting go of the proverbial bird in hand, when there is nothing in the bush.

Being in between can apply to many areas of life and recovery. We can be in between jobs, careers, homes, or goals. We can be in between behaviors as we let go of the old and are not certain what we will replace it with. This can apply to behaviors that have protected and served us well all of our life, such as caretaking and controlling.

We may have many feelings going on when we're in between: spurts of grief about what we have let go of or lost, and feelings of anxiety, fear, and apprehension about what's ahead. These are normal feelings for the in between place. Accept them. Feel them. Release them.

Being in between isn't fun, but it's necessary. It will not last forever. It may feel like we're standing still, but we're not. We're standing at the in between place. it's how we get from here to there. It is not the destination.

We are moving forward, even when we're in between.

Today, I will accept where I am as the ideal place for me to be. If I am in between, I will strive for the faith that this place is not without purpose, that it is moving me toward something good.

From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved. 


Reflection for the Day  
08/02

Comments:

AUGUST 2 Reflection for the Day

When I begin to compare my life with the lives of others, I've begun to move toward the edge of the murky swamp of self-pity. On the other hand, if I feel that what I'm doing is right and good, I won't be so dependent on the admiration or approval of others. Applause is well and good, but it's not essential to my inner contentment. I'm in the Gamblers Anonymous Program to get rid of self-pity, not to increase its power to destroy me.

 

Am I learning how others have dealt with their problems, so I can apply these lessons to my own life?

 

Today I Pray

God, make me ever mindful of where I came from and the new goals I have been encouraged to set. May I stop playing to an audience for their approval, since I am fully capable of admiring or applauding myself if I feel I have earned it. Help me make myself attractive from the inside, so it will show through, rather than adorning the outside for effect. I am tired of stage make-up and costumes, God; help me be myself.

 

Today I Will Remember

Has anyone seen ME?


Donna Email
08/02

Last Day You Placed A Bet 7/14/15

Location Florida

Comments:
8/2/20  Sunday   Hi my name is Donna and I am a Compulsive Gambler, checking in.  Well the Hurricane did not do a direct hit to my area, but we are getting a slight breeze and mild showers, which is actually pleasant.  Just for today, I will remain Gamble Free, ODAAT.


Hazelden Thought for the Day 
08/01

Comments:

August 1st Hazelden Thought for the Day 

The great artist is the simplifier.

  —Henri Amiel

Just as an artist creates through simplification, so a man's recovery process grows and deepens as he simplifies his life. This isn't easy to do in our fast paced and high-powered world. We have often complicated a problem by our way of thinking. Sometimes we take pride in how complex we can make something seem. We look for hidden meanings when the truth is on the surface. We give long explanations for our actions when none is called for. We suspect a person's motives when taking him at face value loses nothing. We take on a battle when we could just as well let it pass.

Most of us don't think of ourselves as artists. Yet we are each given a profound, creative opportunity - to fashion a meaningful and worthwhile pattern in our lives. As we seek to do the will of God today, it is as if we are taking a lump of clay and creating an image from it.

As I go about today's activities, may I find ways to make it a simple and creative expression.

From Touchstones: A Book of Daily Meditations for Men ©1986, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved. 


Reflection for the Day  
08/01

Comments:

AUGUST 1 Reflection for the Day

Self-pity is one of the most miserable and consuming defects I know. Because of its interminable demands for attention and sympathy, my self-pity cuts off my communication with others, especially communication with my Higher Power. When I look at it that way, I realize that self-pity limits my spiritual progress. It's also a very real form of martyrdom, which is a luxury I simply can't afford. The remedy, I've been taught, is to have a hard look at myself and a still harder one at the Gamblers Anonymous Program's Twelve Steps to Recovery.

 

Do I ask my Higher Power to relieve me of the bondage to self?

 

Today I Pray

May I know from observation that self-pitiers get almost no pity from anyone else. Nobody - not even God - can fill their outsized demands for sympathy. May I recognize my own unsavory feeling of self-pity when it creeps in to rob me of my serenity. May God keep me wary of its sneakiness.

 

Today I Will Remember

My captor is my self.


Donna Email
08/01

Last Day You Placed A Bet 7/14/15

Location Florida

Comments:
8/1/20  Saturday   Hi my name is Donna and I am a Compulsive Gambler in Recovery.  July was my first month as a Team Manager at work, and it was challenging, but also good.  It's a new month.  Just for today I will remain Gamble Free, ODAAT.


Hazelden Thought for the Day 
07/31

Comments:

July 31st Hazelden Thought for the Day  

Look at the post as a bullet. Once it's fired it's finished.

  —Catherine Bauby

Today is before us as an unformed experience. Yesterday took its own shape, and whatever it was has now gone. Our only opportunities exist in what we will do this day. Perhaps we can enhance the day by starting with a review of yesterday and then letting go. What were the major events in our experiences yesterday? How do we feel about them? Is something left unfinished in our feelings or actions that we need to complete or repair today? Can we take yesterday's experience to build a better today?

We have centered ourselves in this day by reviewing where we just came from. We have taken a spot check inventory. Now we can let go of yesterday and move forward in the present. That does not mean we never think about the past again. It means we build on the past by learning from our experiences and letting them shape our activities now. In that way we draw ever closer into accord with the will of our Higher Power.

I will let go of the past by learning from it. I give myself to shaping today.

From Touchstones: A Book of Daily Meditations for Men ©1986, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved


Reflection for the Day  
07/31

Comments:

JULY 31 Reflection for the Day

One of the most serious consequences of the me-me-me syndrome is that we lose touch with practically everyone around us - not to mention reality itself. The essence of self-pity is total self-absorption, and it feeds on itself. Rather than ignore such an emotional state - or deny that we're in it - we need to pull out of our self-absorption, stand back, and take a good honest look at ourselves. Once we recognize self-pity for what it is, we can begin to do something about it.

 

Am I living in the problem rather than the answer?

 

Today I Pray

I pray that my preoccupation with self, which is wound up tight as a Maypole, may unwind itself and let its streamers fly again for others to catch and hold. May the thin, familiar wail of me-me-me become a chorus of us-us-us, as we in the Fellowship pick apart our self-fullness and look at it together.

 

Today I Will Remember

Change me-me-me to us-us-us.


Donna Email
07/31

Last Day You Placed A Bet 7/14/20

Location Florida

Comments:
7/31/20  Friday   Hi my name is Donna and I am a Compulsive Gambler in recovery, last day of the month. Last day of sales close out.  Just for today I will remain Gamble Free, and deal with the stress of work, in a positive manner.  ODAAT


Hazelden Thought for the Day 
07/30

Comments:

July 30th Hazelden Thought for the Day 

Accepting Powerlessness


Since I've been a child, I've been in an antagonistic relationship with an important emotional part of myself: my feelings. I have consistently tried to ignore, repress, or force my feelings away. I have tried to create unnatural feelings or force away feelings that were present.

I've denied I was angry, when in fact I was furious. I have told myself there must be something wrong with me for feeling angry, when anger was a reasonable and logical response to the situation.

I have told myself things didn't hurt, when they hurt very much. I have told myself stories such as "That person didn't mean to hurt me." . . . "He or she doesn't know any better." . . . "I need to be more understanding." The problem was that I had already been too understanding of the other person and not understanding and compassionate enough with myself.

It has not just been the large feelings I have been at war with; I have been battling the whole emotional aspect of myself. I have tried to use spiritual energy, mental energy, and even physical exertion to not feel what I need to feel to be healthy and alive.

I didn't succeed at my attempts to control emotions. Emotional control has been a survival behavior for me. I can thank that behavior for helping me get through many years and situations where I didn't have any better options. But I have learned a healthier behavior - accepting my feelings.

We are meant to feel. Part of our dysfunction is trying to deny or change that. Part of our recovery means learning to go with the flow of what we're feeling and what our feelings are trying to tell us.

We are responsible for our behaviors, but we do not have to control our feelings. We can let them happen. We can learn to embrace, enjoy, and experience - feel - the emotional part of ourselves.

Today, I will stop trying to force and control my emotions. Instead, I will give power and freedom to the emotional part of myself.

From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved.


Reflection for the Day  
07/30

Comments:

JULY 30 Reflection for the Day

When we first come to Gamblers Anonymous, the most common variety of self-pity begins: “Poor me! Why can’t I just gamble now and then, like everybody else? Why me?” Such bemoaning, if allowed to persist, is a surefire invitation for a long walk off a short pier – right back to the mess we were in before we came to GA. When we stick around this Program for a while, we discover that it’s not just “me” at all; we become involved with people, from all walks of life, who are in exactly the same boat.

Am I losing interest in my comfortably familiar “pity pot”?

Today I Pray

When self-pity has me droopy and inert, may I look up, look around, and perk up. Self-pity, God wills, vanishes in the light of other people’s shared troubles. May I always wish for friends honest enough to confront me if they see me digging my way back down into my old pity pit.

Today I Will Remember

Turn self-involvement into involvement.


Donna Email
07/30

Last Day You Placed A Bet 7/14/15

Location Florida

Comments:
7/30/20  Thursday   Hi my name is Donna and I am a Compulsive Gambler in Recovery, checking in, worked a double shift because its close out at work.  Before it would put me on high stress alert, and I'm not going to lie, it still does, its just that my coping mechanism is getting better.  Just for today, I will remain Gamble Free, ODAAT.


Reflection for the Day  
07/29

Comments:

July 29 Reflection for the Day

 

The feeling of self-pity, which we've all felt at one time or another, is one of the ugliest emotions we can experience. We don't even relish the thought of admitting to others that we're awash in self-pity. We hate being told that it shows; we quickly argue that we're feeling another emotion instead; we go so far as to hide - cleverly - from ourselves the fact that we're going through siege of "poormeism." By the same token, in a split-second we can easily find several dozen "valid" reasons for feeling sorry for ourselves.

 

Do I sometimes enjoy rubbing salt into my own wounds?

 

Today I Pray

May I recognize the emotions I am feeling for what they are. If I am unable to point them out to myself, may I count on others who know what it's like to be a feelings stuffer. May I stay in touch with my feelings by staying in touch with my Higher Power and with the others in my group.

 

Today I Will Remember

Stay in touch.

 


Hazelden Thought for the Day 
07/29

Comments:

July 29th Hazelden Thought for the Day 

Change and growth take place when a person has risked himself and dares to become involved with experimenting with his own life.

  —Herbert Otto

The rewards of our new life are apparent to us because of how we feel, and apparent to others by what they can see. Many of us had reached our bottom point, and we felt there was no risk in trying a program of recovery. Yet, we still had some distorted security in our harmful ways of relating to others or in our addictions. Letting go was an experiment. This program gives us guidelines for experimenting with our life for growth, and we continue growing everyday. Some of our benefits are increased confidence and self respect, more intimacy with our partner, better friendships, and better physical health. We feel these changes in ourselves, and we see them in the other men and women in this program.

Today, I am grateful for the rewards in my life from this experiment in recovery.

From Touchstones: A Book of Daily Meditations for Men ©1986, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved


Donna Email
07/29

Last Day You Placed A Bet 7/14/15`

Location Florida

Comments:
7/29/20  Wednesday   Hi my name is Donna and I am a Compulsive Gambler in Recovery, checking in, it's closeout week for us at work, tension and stress is high, but I'm learning to cope.  No more hiding my head in the proverbial sand/slot machine.  Just for today I will remain Gamble Free, ODAAT.


Hazelden Thought for the Day 
07/28

Comments:

July 28th Hazelden Thought for the Day 

I am ill because my mind is in a rut and refuses to leave.

  —Karen Giordino

We are vulnerable human beings. We are susceptible to accidents and disease, and we can get bogged down in unhealthy thinking. We aren't at fault when we catch a cold or get a more serious illness, and accidents can happen to anyone. In the same way our addictions and the addictions of people we are close to are not our fault. We never asked for these afflictions, yet we must deal with them.

Physical and spiritual health can't be separated. A thriving spiritual life creates an environment for physical healing and strength. In the same way, physical well-being infuses our spirit with hope and joy. Human beings cannot go through life without sometimes being ill in either mind or body. Living by this program helps make us healthier in all ways. When we are bogged down, we can turn to one of the Steps as a means of healing and release.

Today, I will remember that I am a whole man, with body and spirit as one. As I turn to the Steps, my whole being is healed.

From Touchstones: A Book of Daily Meditations for Men ©1986, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved.
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